Having a slice of humble pie

What an interesting semester this has been. Not exactly the senior year I had envisioned, but it'll keep for now, I suppose. There have been so many changes, so many ups and downs, so much drama and yet so many laughs...it's just been a different year. Interesting is probably the best word for it.

As always, I tend to think about things that I'm learning, or feel like I should be learning. I think most people are aware that this is the first year at school that I've not had a car. Even after the tornado, I only went about a month without a car before I got a new one. However, this year I've had to solely rely on my trusty ghetto bike--complete with cut brakes, a rusty chain, and flat tires now--and my friends from whom I bum rides. I hate that. I hate asking for favors. I hate asking for rides. I know most people don't mind, but I mind. It's just that independent streak in me, I suppose. I love being self-sufficient, and when I can't be, it drives me nuts.

On top of all that, I got a new job here in town waitressing. Mind you, this is my first time working in a restaurant. I've been working at the same animal clinic for the past 5 years, doing the same thing every day (shoveling dog crap...I mean, let's be honest, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to be able to do that), so this whole waitressing business is all new to me. When I first started, I didn't have a clue about what I was doing. Sometimes I feel like I still don't. And that's where all this humble pie is coming from. I've had to swallow my pride lately and ask for help. I ask for help at work ALL THE TIME. Most of the time, it's because I just want to be sure of myself, but I've found myself asking for help because I honestly can't do it by myself.

I HATE IT.

I hate asking for help, more than I hate asking for favors (and rides). I thrive on being able to do things on my own, without needing assistance in any way. Before this job, I've never really needed help with much. I rarely needed help in school, and I hardly ever needed help with soccer or my job at the clinic either...and if I did, I never asked. I'd just hunker down and try to figure it out myself first, which often ended up in an epic fail, but I'm stubborn and hard-headed, so I failed a lot before I figured things out. But that's always worked for me. Not anymore.

I'm eating a whole lot of humble pie now. I'm no longer self-sufficient in any way. I can't even get to work without asking for help (though I've contemplated riding my little bike all the way there lol), and then when I get to work, I continue to have to rely on others to get by. It's totally new to me. I can't just get up and go to the store when I need something, or McDonald's when I'm hungry, or even just to drive around and clear my head...I have to ask someone to take me there. I can't just do my job without any help like I could at the clinic. I'm used to people asking ME for help at my job, not the other way around. It's an interesting and different concept. It's a challenging one for me too.

That said, I think it's good for me. I've always tried to be a fairly humble person--at least on the outside--but I'll admit that I've had my 'confident' attitude for quite some time. I suppose learning to be a little less independent isn't really the end of the world. After all, I don't think anyone has ever died from being knocked down a few notches. If anything, people get in more trouble from being too prideful...just like what would probably happen to me if I attempted to ride my bike to work. :) But hey, it'd be entertaining! So...humble pie...you haven't left a bitter taste in my mouth just yet. It's nice to have met you.