Pick your battle

I've been thinking, yet again. It always seems to hit me in the wee hours of the morning like this, when I should be sleeping, but I don't know if I can sleep until I actually get it out on paper.

The thought actually crossed my mind tonight when I was at work. I was waiting on a table with two younger couples--one couple only got drinks, so they had a small bill, while the other actually ordered food. I brought them their checks, and the couple eating food needed change. The guy from the other couple though told me to hold on, so I waited, and he whipped out the receipt I had just handed him, pocketed the money, and grinned at me like he'd done something magnificently clever. I gave him the best smile I could, trying not to shoot daggers at him with my eyes, then walked off to get change for the other couple.

As I walked to the bar to get change, I thought of all the mean things I could say to him. Since it was my last table and we were about to close, I was seriously considering saying something snotty to him. However, I told myself it wasn't worth getting upset about and to just let it go. When I returned to the table with change for the food-eating couple, Mr. Clever apologized to me and told me he shouldn't have done it. At this point, all I could do was laugh. I told him it was fine and not to worry about it.

That's something I have to do every day. I have to convince myself that it's not worth getting mad, or stressed, or upset about little things. I have to pick and choose my battles all the time. Is it really worth it? The biggest thing that I've taught myself over the past few years though is to give people the benefit of the doubt. That's really hard for me, because after everything I've experienced in the past year or two, I'm not inclined to trust people in any way, shape, or form. But I make myself.

One of my favorite quotes is, "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." The more people I meet, the more I realize that this is so true. Sometimes people put up walls, or act like jerks, or throw themselves at you because of something deeper that's going on. Sometimes people hide behind smiles when they may actually be dying on the inside. You just never know. That's why I try so hard to be nice to everyone, even people who act like morons to me. You can't ever judge people based upon the way they act, at least not at first. Until you really get to know someone, you can't know what's going on in their lives and if something you say or do will put them over the edge.

For instance, I could've blown up at Mr. Wonderful who didn't leave me a tip. But who knows? Maybe he was having a bad day too. Maybe he's insecure and felt like blowing himself up in front of his friends by putting someone else down. Maybe he thought he'd be funny. Or maybe he really is just a jerk...but you can't make that judgment call in a five minute time span. If I had let my temper get the best of me--which it so often does--I could've made things worse for him. And if he really is an arse, then I would've just made myself look like a fool instead, because trust me, he doesn't care if the waitress is ticked off about a tip. I would just be making myself look dumb in front of other people.

All that said, just be careful how you treat people. The things you say and do--no matter how big or small--can make or break somebody's day.