Grateful

I love being a server. It has me on the most effed up sleeping schedule. Here it is, 2:15 in the freakin morning, and I'm still awake. Oh well. Might as well write.

I've just been thinking about my life in general here lately. The past couple days has seemed like hell on earth. Everything seemed to be going wrong and it all came crashing down within a few hours at a time. Just simply horrible. And as I've said before, I wallow. My lows are really low. And it was...I thought about stupid stuff and just being reckless...as my dad always says, "shock and awe". ;) But as always, I kept from being retarded and just wallowed instead. Cried a lot too, like a little b-word, but it kinda felt good. It's been a long time since I've really cried.

Anyway, after all of that mess, I was just sitting and thinking tonight about how awesome my life really is. Even in spite of getting sat with a party of 8 tonight, thirty minutes before close, and only getting a $1.50 tip on an $80 tab, I was happy. I have so many things to be thankful for. I'm so ridiculously blessed, it's not even funny.

I have my health, even though I constantly whine about how crappy my body is and how it's falling apart. I have a job, even though I always complain about how rotten it is. I have amazing roommates and friends that I take for granted. I have a family that loves me unconditionally, even though I stay whining about how crazy they are (I still love you guys, even though you ARE crazy). I go to an awesome church (and I went to a great church when I was still in Memphis) even though I always found flaws in it.

I'm such a whiner. I take my life for granted so much. I find the bad in everything. I suppose that's human nature though. We look for things to complain about. We don't even stop and think twice about all the good things that are taking place. We just miss it completely.

But I sat tonight just laughing after that party left tonight and thought about how great my life is, even in spite of all the ups and downs. It's awesome, it really is. I have sooooooooooooooo incredibly much to be thankful for, and I constantly overlook it, mostly because I choose to, I guess.

So, thank you to all of you wonderful people who are a big part of my life. I'm so blessed to have you in my life.